April Fools Jokes...Gone Bad

Yesterday we heard about all the April Fool's pranks that were hilarious, but what about the ones that went...well...didn't work out.

A 30-year old man pranked police by calling to report a shooting at a Virginia school. He said three students were injured and a pipe bomb was in the cafeteria. The Roseville Police Department thought the call may be a hoax, but were forced to take action which involved three police departments, firefighters, paramedics and a helicopter. The man was arrested. source
Another hilarious bomb threat prank -- this one in Nepal where a prankster called in and warned there was a bomb on an airplane. The flight was delayed three hours. Source
And the worst prank of all -- Alec Baldwin, 54 today, said he is engaged to a woman who's 28. Oh, wait, that actually happened.

Of course, these aren't the worst of the worst. Back in 2004, Randy Wood pranked his ex-wife by asking her to come over so he could show her something. When she arrived, she saw Randy hanging by his neck from a tree. She dialed 911. That's when he realized he was being held by a safety harness. Randy was fined $1,000 and jailed for a year.

Phones/Facebook: Were you the victim of a prank that was just plain wrong? To the point it was unforgiveable?

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Are Tanning Salons Lethal Weapons?

Stunning: Women under 40's are being hit hard by melanoma, and the Mayo Clinic is blaming tanning salons.

"We need to get away from the idea that skin cancer is an older person's disease," says the co-author of the report.

First time diagnoses of melanoma in patients 18-39 have increased eightfold in women since 1979, and fourfold in men. The tanning industry is shooting back, saying if there is a rise in melanoma, they aren't to blame. They claim a link between tanning beds and skin cancer doesn't exist.

Phones/Facebook: Is the tanning industry taking an unfair hit here? After all, smokers know the dangers of smoking, yet they still smoke. Source

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Phrases that KILL relationships

"Then maybe we shouldn't be together": This is the biggest no-no. You wouldn't say this to your boss, would you? This is the nuclear option and should only be used when you truly want to end the relationship. Here are 8 more...
"You know, (insert ex name here) never would have done that!"
"I'm too tired to help you with that."
"Well, you left that dirty dish in the sink two weeks ago!"
"It used to be much more exciting in the bedroom."
"This is the way I am, and I am never going to change."
“No comment.”
"You are not allowed to..."
"Do as I say, not as I do."

Woman Can't Cook

Your wife can't cook like your mom, and a new survey proves it. Although 78% of women say they enjoy cooking, they admit struggling through the basics.

60% said they struggle through simple curry
42% said they can't make spaghetti
11% said they have never prepared a roast of meat
One-in-20 can't make an omelet or boil an egg

The majority admit their mom's had no problem with all of the above, and 58% say their husband's are better cooks.

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Should She?

37-year old Mirlande Wilson is the first winner to step forward and claim her portion of the $656-million Mega Millions jackpot. Not everyone is happy with Wilson, though, especially her McDonald's co-workers.

You see, Wilson purchased a number of tickets with her co-workers, but claims that she bought an extra ticket for herself, and wouldn't you know it, THAT was the ticket with the winning numbers.

'We had a group plan, but I went and played by myself. [The ‘winning’ ticket] wasn’t on the group plan,' Wilson told The New York Post.

'She can't do this to us...we each paid $5. She took everybody's money, said Wilson's co-worker.

The tickets purchased for the group were kept in a safe along with a list of who contributed. But the owner of the McDonad's gave Wilson another $5 to buy more tickets for the pool on her way home from work. She bought them, and then went home. She insists that she bought an EXTRA ticket and THAT ticket was the winner.

To make it worse, she immediately called her co-workers and screamed, "I won, I won!"

Wilson may be forced to pay up because this situation is almost exactly what happened in New Jersey in 2009, and a jury sided with the workers.

Facebook/Phoner: Do you smell a rat? Even if you did buy a separate ticket, would you split the money?

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CelebJunk

Alec Baldwin is engaged. She's 28; he turns 54 today (check out the rock!).
Adam Levine and his Victoria's Secret girlfriend, Anne V, split up. They had a good 2-year run
A private investigator claims that OJ Simpson is innocent, and went to trial to protect the person that actually committed the murders, his son. Story
Rihanna announced she's heading out on a big world tour next year
Oh this should be fun. This morning, Katie Couric fills in on ABC's Good Morning America while the Today Show snagged their own high profile sub -- Sarah Palin.

Cuttin' Cake

Doris Day (88)
Wayne Newton (70)
(the newly engaged) Alec Baldwin (54 Drop from Glenngarry Glen Ross - 1992)
David Hyde Pierce (53)
Eddie Murphy (51)
Jennie< Garth (40)
Leona Lewis (27 Bleeding Love)
Amanda Bynes (26)

Pop Quiz!

Who filed for bankruptcy on this day in 1996... was it:

MC Hammer
Vanilla Ice
Billy Joel

Answer: MC Hammer!

Primetime, Baby!

ABC: Dancing With the Stars (NEW), Dancing With the Stars (LIVE), Body of Proof (NEW)
CBS: NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Unforgettable
NBC: The Biggest Loser (NEW), The Voice (LIVE), Fashion Star (NEW)
FOX: Raising Hope (NEW), Raising Hope, New Girl (NEW), Breaking In (NEW)
CW: 90210, Ringer (NEW)

Joke of the Day

A woman who had thrown a dinner party, at which raw oysters, curried lamb, and steamed mussels were all served, met her physician on the street the following day. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to come to my party last night,” she said. “You are so busy these days, and I think it would have done you some good to have been there.”

“Your party has done me good,” he said. “I’ve just seen five of your dinner guests.”