04.13.10: TODAY IS...

  • Be Kind to Lawyers Day... Naaaaa!
  • Environmental Protection Day honoring the beginning of the environmental movement on this day in 1962 with the release of Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring."  More here

POP QUIZ

In honor of "Be Kind to Lawyers" day, how about we breakout some classic lawyer jokes!  I'll give you the set up, you try and guess the punchline:

Q:  What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A:  Not enough sand

Q:  Why did God make Snakes just before lawyers
A:  To practice

Q:  What's a criminal lawyer?
A:  Redundant

Q:  What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A:  Skeet

Q:  What do you call a lawyer gone bad
A:  Senator

Q:  What do you throw a drowning lawyer?
A:  His partners

Q:  How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A:  His lips are moving

IN SEARCH OF

What folks are Googlin' this morning...


"conan on tbs" - Didn't see this one coming.  Conan O'Brien is taking his talk show chops to TBS.   All eyes were on Fox, but yesterday O'Brien and TBS announced a partnership that was fast and furious.  O'Brien's manager said it was the "swiftest complex deal" he's made in 23 years in the business.   The show is expected to debut in November and will air Monday through Thursday at 11 p.m.  That pushes TBS's other late night show, "Lopez Tonight," back to midnight.  TBS has already started running teaser promos... watch.  

Side note:  Kevin Eubanks, leader of the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" band, is leaving the show after 18 years.  His reason:  He's been there 18 years!  Eubanks said after 18 years of playing into commercials, he wants to go somewhere where he can finish the whole song.



"stephanie ragusa" - Former Tampa, Florida teacher, Stephanie Ragusa (mugshot), accused of having sex with two underaged students, accepted a plea deal yesterday with the Hillsborough County court.  The crimes took place two years ago with students that were 14 and 16-years old at the time.  She faces 10 years in prison, but the plea deal should lesson her time in jail.  We'll find out on June 15th.  



"microsoft kin" - Microsoft unveiled their new "Kin" device yesterday.  In a market filled with great smart phones, the component setting this device apart is the new Tegra chip from Nvidia which is supposed to bring advanced graphics capabilities with low power consumption to mobile phones.   The Kin is designed to quickly access social networking services like Facebook and Twitter, and also has an 8-megapixel camera.   

BTW:  I have a friend who showed me the new iPhone app designed to load audio straight into NexGen.  So let's say you're at a remote.  You record your break into the iPhone, and then send it straight to the commercial log.  Wow.  Gone are the days of almost getting killed by powerlines while setting up the Marti!  


PHONE BUZZ

Light 'em up!

What amusement park ride will you never get within a country mile again?
Great list here from Popular Mechanics of the World's 18 Strangest Rides.  Here are there top three:

1. SkyRoller - The swing-type contraption allows German riders to control the number of barrel rolls they do by manipulating the position of the wings as they spin around.  It's really a face-off between you and your stomach.  Good luck.  Picture.  

2. X-Scream - Tilts riders 27 feet off the edge of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas.  Picture.

3. SpinDizzy - Diggerland is a U.K.-based chain that transforms used construction equipment into rides.  The SpinDizzy is a modified excavator where the bucket now lifts and spins 8 passengers. Picture.

See the entire list of 18 here.



Can you guess what physical attribute leads to more money for women?
A new study found that women who stand 5'8" or above earn more than their shorter colleagues. It was a rather simple study.  1,461 women were asked about their height and their salary, and the taller women simply earned more money.    Why?  20% saw their height as a source of "empowerment & authority."  Another interesting result:  A quarter of women over 5'8" said they would not change a thing about themselves.  But in the sub 5'8" category - 90% said they were unhappy with their looks.  

BTW:  Check out this site -- TallWomen.org.  It breaks down famous women that have some height.  Did you know American Idol winner Jordan Sparks, Uma Thermon, Elle MacPherson and Brooke Shields are all 6'?  

FACEBUZZ

Post this:  She was grounded from going to the prom.  She went anyway.  Mom didn't know for 10 years.  What haven't you told mom?



CELEBRITY TWEETS

Shakira is in Haiti with Sean Penn to finance a new school for children in Port-au-Prince.  Picture


This is not Kenny Rogers... is it?  Really?  He was honored over the weekend at "Kenny Rogers: The First 50 Years" at the MGM Grand at Foxwoods in Connecticut.  


Michelle McGee, one of Jesse James's alleged mistresses, is apologizing to Sandra Bullock for fooling around with her husband.  She appeared on Australian television and said, "I feel bad for Sandra... I want to give her a heartfelt apology."   See the video here


The National Enquirer was hoping for a Pulitzer this year for their spot-on reporting of the John Edwards affair, but no luck.   Instead, this years Pulitzer Prize winners are the Philadelphia Daily News and the New York Times.   More here


The sixth season of Deadliest Catch premieres on Discovery tonight at 9, and the first person you'll see is captain Phil Harris who died in February.  Harris suffered a massive stroke onshore January 29th, and died a few days later.  He was 53.  Check out the preview video.





We now know the secret behind Robert Downey, Jr's success:  Wing Chun!  Everybody Win Chun tonight.  He tells the latest issue of Men's Journal that the martial arts discipline helped him keep his focus and resurrect his career.  "And remember...lots of ice and Advil afterward.  Trust me on that one."  See the article here.  


Hottest gossip of the week:  John Tesh dated Oprah.  The rumor started from Kitty Kelly's new book about Oprah, and Tesh confesses he had the hots for The "O":  "Oprah and I were cub reporters in Nashville nearly 40 years ago and we dated for a short time...we remain friends to this day."  More here.


Rumor control:  Elizabeth Taylor is NOT getting married.  Liz took to Twitter clear the air:  "The rumors regarding my engagement simply aren't true.  Jason is my manager and dearest friend.  I love him with all my heart."  Look.

CUTTIN' CAKE TODAY

  • Rick Schroder is the big 4-0
  • Tony Dow turns 65
  • Singer Al Green is 64

BIRTHDAY QUIZ

We're getting old when THIS kid turns 40!  Name him

ANSWER

Ricky (sorry - RICK) Schroder from Silver Spoons!




Watch Ricky break dance... he'll never live this down


PRIMETIME, BABY!

ABC: Dancing With the Stars (LIVE), Lost (NEW), V (NEW)
CBS: NCIS, NCIS, Los Angeles, The Good Wife
NBC: The Biggest Loser (NEW), Parenthood (NEW)
FOX: Idol (LIVE), Glee (NEW)
CW: 90210 (NEW), Melrose Place (NEW)

FUN STUFF

GADGET OF THE DAY

Really?  Here's another gadget to make your dog hate you -- the Canine Swim Safe is a flotation device for your dog.  It's supposed to prevent dangerous rollover in smaller breeds.  I suppose if you're heading out into the ocean in a row boat, this may give you some peace of mind, but look at this poor dog.  Does he look happy?  $90.  


GOTTA SEE THIS

There are days when you HAVE to perform.  Check out what these guys are passing over here

DID YOU KNOW

From the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics - Women's Earnings in 2008:

"Women in Wyoming had the greatest earnings discrepancy, earning 68% of what their male counterparts garnered.  Women in Washington, D.C., had the best ratio, earning 92% of what men earned."

WHO SAID IT?

"If tonight's show is the end for me as Charlie Harper, so be it."
-Charlie Sheen after taping the season's final episode of "Two and a Half Men" on Friday.  He wants more money from CBS - over a million bucks an episode (if you can believe the reports).  

JOKE OF THE DAY

Lori, a gorgeous nurse, took her stress to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked.

"Doctor, you must help me...it's gotten to the point that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up in bed with him.  And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist.  "And you want me to strengthen your willpower and resolve in this matter?"

"For God's sake, no!" exclaimed the nurse.  "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward.

SURF THIS!

What's the toughest part about signing on to Facebook or Twitter?  Finding a cool user name!  Problem solved!  MyUserNameGenerator creates a unique user name to use in forums, chat rooms and other social websites.  So just because someone has snatched "Donkey Kong Master," doesn't mean you can't find a cool one, too!  

GAME BREAK

Do not play this game.  Repeat...DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME.  Once you understand what you're supposed to do, you'll three days of your life goodbye.  Just a warning. 


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