Thursday September 8th, 2011

Today is National Nose Hair Maintenance Day! Get to work!

It's also Oprah Day celebrating the premiere of Her Majesty's show on this day in 1986...

...and it's Pardon Me Day which remembers President Ford's pardon of Richard Nixon "for all offenses" on this day in '74.



$14,000 for Ignoring His Wife In Bed!

A French dude known only as Jean-Louis B has been fined $14,000 (U.S.) for ignoring his wife's urges in the sack. After their divorce was final, his ex-wife took him back to court demanding compensation for "lack of sex over 21 years of marriage." That's a no-no in France and Jean-Louis has to write a check.



Who Said It?

On cheating: "It's like we're flawed — we're human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge. That's their problem but I really think that the more I live my life the more I learn not to judge people for what they do. I think we're all trying our best but life is complicated ... If death by virus was a punishment for extra-marital affairs there would only be three dudes left in this world right now."

-Gwyneth Paltrow!



What's Bumming You Out?

A new study found both men and women experienced decreasing happiness over the last 20 years. Our self-confidence is dropping, we have a growing list of regrets about the past, and are in bad physical and mental shape. Why? The researchers out of the University of Pennsylvania blame a few things:
  • Less interaction with friends and family
  • Opting out of civic and social activities
  • Our lack of confidence with politicians

Solution? They say become more social. It's that simple.



Cuttin' Cake
  • Heather Thomas (54)
  • Jonathan Taylor Thomas (30)
  • David Arquette (40)
  • Raise your glass, it's Pink's birthday! (32)

    Caution: Language

Primetime, Baby!

ABC: Wipeout, Rookie Blue (NEW), Rookie Blue (Finale/New)
CBS: The Big Bang Theory, CBS Fall Preview (NEW), Big Brother (LIVE), The Mentalist
NBC: Football - Saints @ Packers
FOX: Bones
CW: The Vampire Diaries, Plain Jane



Gotta See This


Wow, it takes a lot of self confidence to record, and then post, a video demonstrating how big a jerk you really are. But he did...




This is what dinner time at my house used to look like when someone tried to take food from my brother...




Joke of the Day

One afternoon, Sister Mary Catherine asked all the Catholic school children in the fourth grade what they wanted to be when they grow up.

Little Adriana raised her hand and said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"

Sister Mary Catherine's eyes grew wide and then she barked, "What did you say?"

"I said I want to be a prostitute!" little Adriana exclaimed.

Sister Mary Catherine breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank God! I thought you said a 'Protestant.'"



Surf This


Here's a new app that tracks who OWES YOU MONEY, DARNIT! PayMeBackApp.com keeps track of who owes you, and who you owe... but who owes you is much more important, right? This app also notes your loans in cloud, so those that you passed money to will have a reminder in their phone, too. Would you use something like this? iPhone only.



Funnies 'cross the Web

Critics say that fertility clinics and sperm banks are creating a risk of incest between half brothers and half sisters because of multiple children born from the same donors. One man has reportedly fathered 150 children. Who does he think he is, Kevin Federline? (Jokes by Jim)

Susan Lucci has declined an offer to be on the online version of "All My Children". However, the part may still be picked up by her evil twin. (Jokes by Jim)

A study says that kids living with a smoker tend to miss more school. Mostly because their parents are always sending them out to buy more cigarettes. (Jokes by Jim)

Eddie Murphy has been named the host of next year’s Academy Awards ceremony. … And you thought you'd never beg to see Anne Hathaway and James Franco come back. (Jerry Perisho)

An online company called StarvingEyes Advergaming is making Jimmy Hoffa Jr. look like “Mr. Nice”. They’ve posted a video game called “Tea Party Zombies Must Die.” It features zombie Tea Party Members (one in a tattered KKK robe) plus zombie versions of Republicans like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachman and Newt Gingrich. - Keith Olbermann alledgedly sprained his thumb before he even got through the first level! (Dick Purtan)

Celine Dion was the victim of a burglary this week when a 36-tear-old man allegedly stole the keys from her husbands car and used them to break into their Montreal mansion. He tripped the alarm and police arrived to find that he’d helped himself to some pastries and was drawing himself a warm bath. - Celine said she feels “violated” but that her heart will go on. (Dick Purtan)

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